Nadia Guate 5 months Roses

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Tomorrow is another day that I have been in denial about during this trip. It is a healthy coping mechanism I think. I love central park and have great memories of Gavin there and NOW I will have a hateful memory one of giving Nadia back to her (loving and kind foster mother) Not having her in my arms and attached to me on Monday will simply STINK....The other aching piece of my heart is how much I miss Gavin and Mike. It hurts visciously. I cannot believe how fast our time went this time and how much I have loved constantly locking smiling gazes with this beautiful baby. It does feel nice that our process is moving (of course it WILL NEVER be fast enough until it is over)...however I have no return date to dream of our count down this time. I am uncertain of when she will be in my arms. I am praying that we are through PGN quickly there are rumors that things could move quickly but being among many families fostering/visiting proves that this process shows no favors to anyone and it is simply the luck of the draw. (WHICH IS AGAIN FRUSTRATING) On Monday though my little amazing man will be in my arms I will not get to see Mike again for what feels like eternity due to his travel. She is simply beautiful and I love her so much! And she will never truly understand how difficult this was until she becomes a mother herself...God bring her home soon...